Before BB was born, I was obsessed with figuring out how to have a good sleeper. I read countless blogs and books and came up with our strategy. In hindsight, it is pretty hysterical that I thought I could somehow figure our how to get BB to sleep through the night before I had even met her.

In reality, I think some babies are just born great sleepers and others are not. But, there is still a lot we can do as parents to push them in the right direction. I am not a doctor and by no means a sleep expert. I am just a mama who was blessed with an amazing sleeper and who did a lot of research to get her baby to sleep through the night. Every single baby is different, and pretty quickly you will learn what works for you. You and only you know your baby. Read as much as you can about sleep, talk to as many mamas as you can about sleep, ask your doctor as many questions as you can about sleep and then figure out what advice you want to take and what advice you want to leave. For us, the best advice we every received was BATHTIME. Bathtime turned our good sleeper into a rockstar sleeper.

So, how to start sleep trainings. First, “sleep training” is not as intense as it sounds. When I was a new mama, I had this vision of sleep training as locking your baby away in their room where they cried it out all night. That is not it at all. Sleep training is simply helping your baby form healthy sleep habits. It is a gradual evolution and you ease into it. No expert would suggest to start sleep training your 4 week old, in the traditional sleep training sense. But they would say it is healthy to introduce a bedtime routine and begin to teach your little one that nighttime is for sleeping.

Here are the 10 steps that worked for us to ease into sleep training and get BB to eventually sleep from 7pm-7am by the time she was 4 months old. At 16 months, she still goes down easily and now sleeps from 7pm-8am. We will cross our fingers and hope and pray that all our future children are born with BB’s amazing sleeping skills and that these steps hold true for them.

(1) Give yourself 4 weeks

Don’t even begin to worry about sleep and sleep routines for the first 4 weeks. Your newborn is going to wakeup, a lot. That’s normal and healthy. Use those 4 weeks to get to know your baby and learn how to be a mama. You cannot spoil a newborn. Enjoy every single minute of baby snuggles. Don’t worry about forming bad habits by letting them fall asleep in your arms or on your chest. Do whatever you can to enjoy that time and bond with your baby. You can sleep train later.

(2) Set a bedtime

When you are ready to start “sleep training”, set a bedtime. Even when your newborn is waking up throughout the night, it is still smart to set a bedtime. At 4 weeks, it is way too soon to get rid of night feedings. Your baby will and should continue to feed in the middle of the night for a couple months. But, all wakings and feedings after bedtime will be sleep feeds (dark lights, no talking, and other things that signal to baby that it is not time to wake up). We picked 7, because our goal was BB sleeping from 7pm to 7am every night. I will have to say that this is one of the most challenging parts of trying to get your baby to sleep through the night. This means you are home and starting bedtime every single night by 6 or 630. We NEVER missed a bedtime, which takes dedication and a lot of missed dinners, outings, and social events. But it is SO WORTH IT. Our bedtime routine is one of my favorite parts of being a mama.

(3) Establish a routine

It sounds absurd to start a bedtime routine for a 4 week old, but it worked for us. Newborns can pick up on subtle hints and figure out pretty quickly when you want them to sleep and when you want them to be awake. Early on, the routine is simply intended to signal to your baby that it is time to sleep. As they get older, they will rely on routines to wind down before bed.

(4) Start your routine long before your baby is overtired

If you know your baby is going to get tired and cranky around 7, your bedtime routine should start long before that. You want to create a soothing and loving bedtime routine to make your baby feel comforted and calm before bed. Hysterical and overtired babies are not calm and cannot be comforted.

(5) Be realistic

When we first “established a routine,” it was absurdly long and BB would be cranky and overtired by step two. Pick two or three of these elements and attempt to get through them:

• bathtime
• baby massage
• soothing music
• sound machine
• books
• lullabies
• swaddle/sleep sack/security blanket (we used those three in that order at different stages in her development)
• bottle or breastfeed

What worked for us was bathtime, lotion and a massage, a sound machine and a swaddle. But above all else, the most important step in our routine was bathtime. Very quickly we realized that the nights BB had a bath, she slept so much better. I would get in the bath with her, we would dim the lights and it put her in a zen like state. At 16 months, she still LOVES her bathtime and so do I. If you incorporate bathtime into your bedtime routine, a bath every day can dry their skin out. So we only use soap every two or three days and we always lotion her after her bath. We use TUBBY TODD exclusively, because it is soooo gentle on her crazy sensitive skin! After her bath we turn on a sound machine, wrap her in her swaddle (now we give her her favorite blankie) and move onto step (5). As BB got older, we added other things into our routine like books and lullabies.

(6) Top them off

No matter when your last feeding was, right before bed, top them off with as much milk as they will drink. Full babies SLEEP.

(7) Put them down sleepy, but awake

Put them down in their bassinet or crib sleepy but awake. This was really hard early on, because BB would start to fall asleep the second we took her out of the bath. If we managed to keep her awake until her bottle, she would be sound asleep after a few sips. But as she got older and could make it through her bottle without passing out, we would try to put her down sleepy, but awake. If you do not want to rock your two year old to sleep every single night, take this tip to heart.

(8) Teach your baby to self-sooth

Do yourself a favor, buy BRINGING UP BEBE and read about Le Pause. Le Pause is the reason BB slept through the night at such a young age. If you don’t want to read that book, I will give you the cliffnotes. When a newborn starts to cry in the middle of the night, French parents observe and pause for a moment before they jump in and try to sooth their child. Newborns have short sleep cycles (sometimes as short as 40 minutes) and the greatest challenge in sleeping through the night is learning to connect those sleep cycles and go back to sleep on their own. Between them, they might need to cry and fuss before they learn to put themselves back to sleep. The crying does not necessarily mean they need to be fed, rocked, or held. Give them a moment to try to sooth themselves. I am not suggesting you allow your newborn to cry it out, but do not jump in the moment your baby starts to wiggle and fuss and stick a boob or bottle in his or her mouth. Give them the chance to learn to self-sooth.

(9) Be consistent

Find whatever works for you and your baby and be consistent. Babies love consistency.

(10) Adjust as needed

As your baby progresses from newborn to infant to toddler, starts to crawl then walk, moves to his or her own room, starts to teeth, little curve balls will be thrown your way. Things that used to work will go out the window and you will have to adapt and adjust. Don’t stress out about those little changes and adjustment periods. Babies adapt really easily and you will be shocked how seamless transitions are. I was so worried to move BB from her bassinet to her crib at 6 months. I thought she was surely going to cry all night and our perfect little sleeper would turn into a disaster. I kept pushing it back and pushing it back until one morning she literally crawled out of her bassinet and flopped onto my bed. The night we moved her into her bassinet she slept like a baby straight through the night as I cried in my bedroom all night long :(. Babies adapt easier than we do. So far, we haven’t been thrown a curve we couldn’t figure out. But who knows what tomorrow’s curveball will look like…

Photos by Cassandra Eldridge